Self-Compassion: stepping back and exploring our standards

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Evolving, learning, exploring, and striving to get closer to how we define our “best” self is certainly a positive. However, sometimes actions and ideas that feel constructive can be the very thing that stunts the growth we are meant to experience.  Sometimes, the standards we hold ourselves to lead to cycles of burnout and beating ourselves up without momentum towards where we truly need to be.  

If the standards we feel we “should” be holding ourselves to result in burnout, negative self-talk, and self-sabotage, why do we continue to hold onto them?

Sometimes taking a step back, slowing down, and reassessing our goals facilitates more growth and self-discovery than just grinding and pushing for the sake of it.   

I like to engage in some re-direction by asking myself 4-6 questions.   They could look something like: 

What do I gain from holding myself to this standard? 

What happens if I don’t meet it? 

Does this matter to me?  Why, why not, or to what extent? 

Where/how did I learn this?

What is the reality of pursuing this standard?  

Sometimes, redirecting can feel like taking two steps forward and three steps back at first.  However, what gets us to our desired destination faster?  Racing at full speed in circles?  Or stopping for a moment and re-navigating?